Your Inner Critic Is Lying to You
photo: Erica Wollmering
New Year’s Fail?
How is it going with your New Year’s intentions? Have you lacked follow through or are you staying strong? At this point, you may have gotten off track. (I’m trying to cut out caffeine and the struggle is real!) The good news is that getting off track is completely normal. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to change habits. We are hard-wired for energy conservation. When given the choice, we often decide to go with the habits that are the most familiar--rather than adopting new ones.
Your Inner Critic is Lying to You
This lack of follow through is when the inner critic (may) jump in and tell us stories about how we are a failure-how we can never change, that we’re lazy, incapable…(insert all unhelpful narratives here). Your inner critic is lying to you. You are not a failure. You are not incapable. You are simply out of alignment with what is important to you. Read that again: You are simply out of alignment with what is important to you.
Think about it. The whole reason you set forth an intention to change is because you have your well-being in mind. You want things to be different. You can see the opportunity for things to be better. The critic is trying to point you to the lack of alignment, but is doing it in a very harsh and critical way.
Develop a New Relationship with the Critic and Begin Again
Here’s how it works:
See the inner critic as a thought. It’s harsh and critical, but it’s not you. The thought will come and go—just notice that.
Use the critic as a reminder. The tone isn’t helpful, but you can use it as a reminder. Once you hear the inner critic, know that the critic is trying to point you to something helpful. You are out of alignment. Use the critic as a reminder to re-align.
Re-align with your intention. What is one thing that you can do today to re-align with your intention? Commit to doing one small thing differently today.
Interested in learning more about well-being and mindfulness?
Join me in a public talk and interactive discussion on Mediation and the Wisdom of Well-Being at Tergar Meditation Community Minneapolis/St. Paul.